Self-Care Isn't Just for the Ladies

Today is Friday 11/22/24 and I am deep in thought about what I want my first blog post to be about. And then it hit me in the middle of getting my pedicure and manicure at a nail salon. Self-care! And all the ways, we as men need to do it.

First let me start by saying I learned all of this in the most recent years of my manhood. And I can honestly say that if I had heard, known, been taught, learned, and applied all of these things in my early adult years, let's just say I would have been light years ahead of where I currently am. But there is no sense in crying over spilled milk or not received milk, or spoiled milk, or milk not consumed, or any other kind of wasted milk there is. I have the knowledge now. And while I am actively applying it, I want to share it with my brothers both big and little.

Now that we are on the tarmac let's discuss all the things that include self-care and understand this isn't an exhaustive list. These are the things that are currently in my orbit. The activities that I am doing and know about. Please feel free to add to it with what compliments your needs as you see fit. I have already told you about the manicures and pedicures which I try to do at least once a month. I have a personal trainer that I have a session with weekly. I try to walk at least 5,000 steps a day. My goal is to get into the actual gym three times a week. I keep a chiropractic subscription where I have 4 visits a month. And I go once a week. My wife and I attend couples counseling together once a month. And I have a standing appointment with our therapist once a month for my own personal situations. I attend a weekly peer group with military veterans growing through life just like myself.  I have a quarterly meeting on the calendar with my psychiatrist. I see my primary care physician at least twice a year, same with my dentist and dental hygienist. I write in my journal quite often. I pray every day. I eat at least one healthy and nutritional dense meal a day. I talk to my mother at least twice a week. I speak to my Aunt Sally at least once a week. Nap therapy is my favorite. When my body says it's time to shut down for a little while, I take it seriously and do so. Which brings me to the fact that I try to sleep at least 6 hours every night. I know we have been told that 8 hours is suggested but for me personally any longer than 7 hours and my body starts to hurt. So, 6 does me just fine, and the nap covers everything else.  I read quite often. Every day I am learning something new. And then there are my hobbies. I mentioned reading and journaling earlier but truly when I tell yall these are paramount to my self-care, it is not an over exaggeration. I have to bring them up again because the shopping for books to read is its own hobby. And I write for leisure which crosses over into creating different art pieces. I love fashion as well as the shopping, designing, and curating aspects of the art. I used to have a sewing machine; I plan to obtain another in the very near future. And then there is my recently acquired hobby of cigars.

Since I have given yall the rundown of what my self-care list looks like. I would like to highlight a few that I feel are pertinent to my manhood and the cultivation of my future growth, healing, and personal freedom.

First starting with prayer. Now I did not mention the full spectrum of what my relationship with God entails but this is the biggest one. And it is the one that gets the least acclaim and the workhorse of my self-care routine. My truth is that I am always in prayer. Even when I am just vocalizing a thought aloud, or when I am exclaiming just the name Jesus, because what I have noticed is those are generally the moments that I need the Lord the most. Next are working out, the chiropractor, and pedicures.  I put all these groups together because for one my physical health is super important. I got to keep the motor running to be here to do all of the things the King will have me to do for his kingdom. And see the chiropractor is routine maintenance of the engine (oil change if you will), and the pedicures are like rotating and changing the tires. I plan to eventually add massages sessions to this list. Marriage counseling sessions are super important because whether or not there are issues within your union, there should be a space where you and your partner can feel untethered to being everything and just be unpacked. And I have found that having an unbiased therapist allows for this space to be cultivated. Then there are the individual sessions which are just as important as the couple’s sessions, because let's be real your whole world isn’t just what goes on between you and your spouse. Your job, to include coworkers, friends, kids, parents, siblings, the environment, church, society, your community, your thoughts, what you watched on the news, and so much more play on your mental. And a good therapist will allow you to be the champion you were born to be. And the last thing I want to cover are the hobbies. Every man needs one or a few hobbies to take his mind off of the world around him. My hobbies all fall into 3 categories: build up the world (writing), create for myself (fashion), and take my mind off of everything (cigars).